Impeaching the Browns?

To those who thought the Myles Garrett-Mason Rudolph helmet brawl Thursday night on national television would soon fade, guess again. The temperature is rising rapidly.

Garrett’s conking Rudolph’s bare head with his own helmet was a topic not just in the sports world, but the world of news as well. It isn’t every day you see one player drill another with a weapon designed to protect the head rather than attack it.

The footage not only went viral almost immediately, it has remained scorching throughout the weekend as one of the hot topics on talk radio around the nation. It reached the big time Saturday night.

It captured the attention of the vast stable of writers at NBC Television staple Saturday Night Live and became part of the 45-year-old program’s famous Cold Open with Garrett (cast member Kenan Thompson) making a surprise appearance.

Mocking the House’s Impeachment hearings in Washington, the open began with a scrolling introduction.

“Some complained the hearings were lacking in pizzazz, dull and not The Masked Singer,” intoned the voiceover. “ So to make sure people are paying attention, we present the hearings in a way that underscores how scandalous the revelations really are. This is Days of Our Impeachment.”

The cast included actors portraying Congressmen Adam Schiff, Jim Jordan and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, former ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch, career diplomat Bill Taylor, attorney Rudy Giuliani, Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell, attorney Michael Avenatti and U.S. Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland.   

Garrett (Thompson) made his entrance well into the eight-minute parody wearing a Browns #95 sweater and wielding a Pittsburgh Steelers in his right hand.

“Enough,” he bellowed. “ I have seen enough. I am tired of being falsely accused. You see, what happened was I saw another player who had lost his helmet and I thought, ‘Oh, he should be wearing a helmet.’ So I attempted to put it back on his head.”

Interrupted Schiff (Alex Moffat), “Mr. Garrett, you are not on trial here.”

“Oh I know,” said Garrett. “President Trump has pardoned me, too, for war crimes. He said I could bring a helmet to Afghanistan and just go nuts.” And he disappeared.

“Not so fast,” interrupted Giuliani (Kate McKinnon), who said something stupid. Garrett quickly reappeared, took one look at Giuliani and said, “Omigod, it’s a vampire” and then struck him with the helmet.

Giuliani popped back up and the group then segued into the iconic opening, shouting,  “Live from New York it’s Saturday night.”

Yep, the Browns made SNL, but in a way they never imagined. The dysfunction and embarrassment live on. If you haven’t already seen it, it’s on YouTube.