Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Ban the barristers

As long as attorneys are in charge of solving the problems between the owners and players in the National Football League, nothing will get accomplished.

The only way to get this Collective Bargaining Agreement thing settled is for Commissioner Roger Goodell to step in, tell the barristers for both sides to take a hike, then lock the principals of both parties in the same room. For a week.

That’s how long it would take for this whole mess to go away. Maybe less.

Get these rich bastards in that room and make them talk. Make them see each other’s side in the money war. Make them have a better understanding of where each side is coming from.

Provide certain creature comforts, but make damn sure no one leaves that room for a protracted period of time unless there’s a good excuse. The longer this lockout lasts, the more each side has to lose.

Sure, it’s only the middle of April. The season doesn’t officially begin until late July with training camps. That’s more than three months away. “What’s the hurry?” say the optimists. This’ll get done sooner rather than later.

Not if attorneys are involved.

Now getting the two sides to agree to such a move poses yet another problem. Goodell, if he really means what he says about wanting all this to just go away, is in a position to demand such a move.

He is the commish after all, the man with the power to make things happen. Yes, he does the owners’ bidding for the most part, but there are certain things he can do in the best interests of the game, in the best interests of the shield. This is one of those times.

In an economy still seeking to find a way out of its morass, neither side is gaining any sympathy with the paying public with their constant sniping. They play a silly game of name calling and finger pointing. They fight like spoiled little children.

They say things they later regret. Derrick Mason, for example, calling Goodell “a joke” is a prime example. The only joke is when Mason opens his mouth and words like that tumble out.

No doubt when this is all settled, the Baltimore wide receiver will come out and say something like, “Aw, I didn’t really mean it. It was all part of the rhetoric, you know. He’s really a good guy.”

It is time for Goodell to march in and for the attorneys to march out. It is time for these grownups to start acting like grownups. Both sides are losing the public relations battle with the fans.

And while they are certain to lose at least a fraction of their vast constituency because of all the childish behavior, both sides arrogantly believe the financial repercussions will be small. The game will thrive no matter what.

The sad part of this little play in way too many acts is that it’s true. The game will survive no matter what. Too bad it has been tarnished by the legal community.

Monday, April 11, 2011

The blame game

Anyone surprised by the shenanigans unfolding on a daily basis regarding the lockout in the National Football League?

No surprise here. It’s a joke. And will continue to be a joke a lot longer than anyone wants. Especially the fans.

The silly and stupid charges being hurled by both sides in the matter is predictable. Comes with the territory. That’s just the way it is when two labor factions agree on only one thing – to disagree.

All over the country, fans are being asked on Web sites to finger the guilty party. Who’s to blame for the lockout? In most cases, they don’t care who’s responsible. They’re tired of this bullroar. They just want to see an end to all this nonsense.

Fact of the matter is both parties are responsible. Both sides are wrong. Both sides should be ashamed of themselves for hanging out to dry the most important people. You, the fans.

The billionaires and millionaires are fighting over the money that you, the fans, willingly shell out in order to watch the product they produce. They’re battling over how to split the proceeds you choose to part with on Sunday afternoons in the fall and winter.

And the irony in this entire matter is neither side cares what you think. All they care about is the bottom line, that line that fattens their wallets. That’s the sum and substance of what drives each side.

All they want is to get you to come and watch the product. They don’t care about your emotions. They say they do, but they really don’t.

In this bottom-line world of ours, the most beautiful sight to each side are stadiums with no empty seats. That means only one thing. And that should be very obvious by now.

Some day, they two sides will capitulate. They always do. And the fans will rejoice. A vast majority of them will forgive. They always do. And then, it’ll be same old, same old.

But until that day, a pox on both their houses.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Important draft

Time to check out the first round of the draft and its potential impact on the Browns.

No question the Browns need help in way too many areas for the upcoming lottery to have a significant impact on the 2011 season. If, that is, there is a 2011 season.

One thing is certain: If Tom Heckert Jr. drafts as well this season as he did last season, brighter days are ahead for Browns fans.

The general manager, who helped Andy Reid turn the Philadelphia Eagles into a perennial contender, came up with two starting defensive backs and a starting quarterback last year with the jury still out on a running back and guard. Not a bad start at all.

There is no question he is a solid talent evaluator, something the Browns haven’t had since . . . well . . . since I can’t remember when. He is much better at evaluating talent than his boss, Mike Holmgren, who has proven he is a much better coach than GM.

Holmgren can help new coach Pat Shurmur in ways Heckert can’t. But if the club president devotes more time to his head coach than the ordinary president, he hired the wrong man.

But I digress.

This is about the draft, more specifically the first rounds. The Browns own two of the first 37 picks in the college lottery and it’s incumbent upon Heckert to make it two straight years in the bull’s-eye department.

So what do the Browns need most? Two correct answers. A game-changing wide receiver and immediate help on a defensive line bereft of bodies now that the club has switched to a 4-3 scheme.

Several names pop into focus in both areas and one of those names will be available when National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell places the Browns on the clock with pick number 6.

The draftophiles know them well. A. J.Green and Julio Jones, a couple of Southeastern Conference standouts, are head and shoulders better than any other wide receiver. Along the defensive line, there are Da’Quan Bowers, Nick Fairley, Marcell Dareus, Robert Quinn and Ryan Kerrigan. Dareus, Bowers, Quinn and Kerrigan are ends and that’s where the Browns need help the most along the defensive front.

The Cleveland secondary needs help in the form of quarterback pressure. That pressure must come from the defensive ends in the 4-3. The 3-4 was an abysmal failure in that regard under Romeo Crennel and Eric Mangini.

So where does Heckert go? Which does he fix first? An offense that was the second lowest in scoring in the NFL last season? Or a defense that wasn’t that bad for the first 12 games then wore out because of that sad offense?

Conventional wisdom says defense wins games. But what if someone like Green somehow slips to the Browns at 6? How can Heckert pass up a player who caught just about everything thrown his way at Georgia and who can help Colt McCoy ease into his transition as a West Coast offense quarterback?

If Green and, say. Fairley or Dareus are there, too, where does he go? Is it a win-win situation? Does he go with the No. 1 wideout or the second- or third-best defensive lineman?

Easy. You go with the best at his position. Besides, in this case, the talent at wide receiver in this draft is not nearly as deep as the defensive line.

Now if Green is snapped up before Heckert can make his move, that brings into play a wild card heretofore unmentioned. Louisiana State cornerback Patrick Peterson, the second-best player in this draft after Green, would look great in a Cleveland uniform.

Picture Joe Haden at one corner on one side of the field and Peterson at the other and visions of Frank Minnifield and Hanford Dixon dance in my head. More than a generation ago, these two formed unquestionably the best cornerback tandem in the NFL.

They were fearless despite working with a pass rush that made their jobs that much more difficult.

Now if Green and Peterson are not on the board for Heckert, the defensive line selection becomes a no-brainer.

Somehow, though, I believe one will be there because some team in the top five is going to make a mistake and draft quarterback Cam Newton. If I’m wrong and both are gone, the GM just might decide he can trade down, pick up an extra high pick and still pick up a quality defensive lineman.

In the second round, Heckert would do well to find Joe Thomas a bookend tackle on the right side of the offensive line. If Gabe Carimi, who succeeded Thomas at Wisconsin, somehow sneaks through, he'd be a perfect fit.

It all makes for a good guessing game the closer we get to the draft. That’s what make the annual lottery the fascinating event it has become.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

He's back

Back after a rest that wasn’t much of a rest.

Always in the market for something different, I ventured into the world of public address announcing during spring training out here at Goodyear Ballpark and discovered it wasn’t as easy as I expected.

Having a considerable background in talk radio – 23 years in the Greater Cleveland market – and a love for the game of baseball, my decision to step into foreign territory unveiled a new respect for the men and women who shepherd you through a baseball game via the PA.

It’s not easy at all. In fact, it requires much more discipline than a radio talk show host, whose only responsibilities are to know what he’s talking about and how to use a microphone and answer telephone calls.

The discipline of a PA announcer is vastly different. It goes far beyond merely opening up a mic and talking.

There’s paying attention to every little detail of a game in addition to making sure you get your pre-game and in-game reads in in a precise manner. Nothing is left to the imagination, especially during spring training.

It’s sell, sell, sell all the time. Make certain the fans know which products they should at least consider spending their money on.

And then there are the between-inning contests that provide entertainment. Contests such as hot-dog eating, kids racing mascots around the bases, spinning your head on a golf club and then and putting a golf ball. All designed to give the people a good laugh.

And who’s in charge of making sure the fans are aware of all this? That’s right, the PA guy.

Then there’s the real reason he’s there. To inform the fans who’s starting, who’s batting, who’s replacing a starter. And in spring training exhibition games, the lineup changes come fast, furious and without warning.

It’s not like a regular-season game where the umpire controls the situation and the PA person waits until the arbiter officially signals a new player into a game. In exhibitions, the trick is getting in all your reads, making certain the fans know who the replacements are and where they’re playing and announcing the leadoff hitter before he steps into the box.

Easy, no? No.

On more than one occasion, there wasn’t nearly enough time to squeeze everything into a two-and-a-half minute hole and it had to be managed on a piecemeal basis. After a while, it became extremely frustrating because the main job of the PA person is to inform.

It’s all about rhythm and that rhythm, with time and experience, becomes easier to manage. Having never done it before, it took nearly the entire season to nail it.

It’s like just about anything else. The more you do something, the more comfortable you feel and the better you get.

If nothing else, it gave me a greater appreciation and respect for what PA announcers do, especially in exhibition games.

I started the job apprehensive and nervous. I ended the season last week confident and hoping my work was good enough to warrant a return next season.

At least those in charge didn’t tell me not to let the door hit me in the hind flanks on the way out. I took that as a good sign.

Tomorrow, it’s back to the grind with football – what else? – in the spotlight.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The soft general manager

Read with interest the other day Tony Grossi’s interview in the Cleveland Plain Dealer with Browns General Manager Tom Heckert Jr. regarding some of the personnel mysteries surrounding the 2010 season.

In it, Grossi gleaned some rather interesting answers to several questions as he delved into why certain personnel moves were made. Interesting, that is, in the sense they were rather astonishing in nature.

For example, when asked why running back Jerome Harrison was traded to the Philadelphia Eagles in mid-October, Heckert said coach Eric Mangini lobbied for the deal.

“I’m not saying we shouldn’t have (traded Harrison) because Jerome . . . he wasn’t begging to get out of here, but he was acting like he wanted to get out of here,” the GM told Grossi. “It wasn’t going to do is a whole lot of good to keep him here. Jerome was kind of going through the motions. I think he thought he should have been playing more.”

Then in answer to why the Browns, who concentrated on a run-first offense, pass-second offense, kept only two running backs and seven wide receivers on the roster, he answered thusly:

“I don’t know how to answer that one,” Heckert told Grossi. “I think (the RB depth) was good for a while. When we had Peyton (Hillis), Jerome and a couple of other guys, we were OK. But once Eric wanted us to get rid of Jerome, that’s when it started (going bad). Once you get rid of that guy, then it’s just tough to find guys.”

Now wait a minute. Wait just a darned minute.

Who is the general manager of the Browns? And who is (or was) the coach of the Browns last season?

Whatever happened to the notion that the general manager is responsible for the makeup of the roster and the coach coaches that roster? Whatever happened to a clear division of authority?

Heckert was hired to general manage the team. Mangini was hired to coach the team. Heckert was Mangini’s boss. A clear division of authority, right? It shouldn’t be any simpler than that.

A blatant lack of that division of authority is what has messed up the Browns the last dozen years. That was supposed to stop with the arrival of Heckert and Mike Holmgren. One has to wonder if that, indeed, is the case.

Mangini didn’t want the recalcitrant Harrison around? Too damn bad. It’s up to Mangini and his coaches to maximize whatever talent the GM assembles for them. That includes Harrison, who ostensibly was not a troublemaker. All he wanted was more playing time and Mangini, for whatever reason, was not giving it to him.

Heckert should have told Mangini that Harrison was going nowhere. He should have said something like, “Just go out there and coach him up like you did in the 2009 season. You’re the head coach. Now go out and do your job.”

After all, this was the same Jerome Harrison who ripped off 561 yards in the last three games of the 2009 season and was the main reason the Browns finished strong to salvage what most certainly would have been a monumental disaster.

Instead of doing that, Heckert took the easy way out. He caved and listened to his coach, making a deal that hamstrung his team. It was a classic case of the tail wagging the dog.

Mangini told us from time to time last season that he, Heckert and Holmgren were on the same page with regard to the roster and the direction of the team. Another Mangini swerve, as it turned out.

And what’s this “I don’t know how to answer that one” response to Grossi’s question regarding the two-RB, seven-WR roster? Anyone in a responsible position such as Heckert should never admit to not knowing how to answer a question. Never.

Dance around the question. Change the subject. Anything to avoid being boxed into a corner.

Later in the interview, Grossi asked Heckert why the Browns traded for defensive end Jayme Mitchell in early October, placed him on the active roster and then failed to play him.

He called Mitchell’s disappearance from the playing field “bizarre” and admitted “he was by far our best pass rusher and never got on the field, so I can’t answer that one. Eric (Mangini) watched him (on tape prior to the trade) and liked him. So I don’t know what happened after that.”

You’re the general manager and you don’t what happened? You “can’t answer that one”? That’s part of your job. It’s your job to know everything about your team from a personnel standpoint.

And if you don’t know, seek out the answers. Don’t admit you don’t know what happened. Don’t admit not knowing how to answer a question.

You’re the general manager for crying out loud. Act like one.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

It's purge time

And so the purge begins.

Reluctant last season to strip the roster during their first trip, Mike Holmgren and Tom Heckert Jr. chose the safe road through the 2010 season. Right to a 5-11 finish.

So thank you very much, Eric Mangini. There’s the door. Hit it and don’t come back.

Now that Mangini is gone, a number of the players he brought to Cleveland have begun the same march out of town with Wednesday’s announcement that Shaun Rogers, Eric Barton, David Bowens, John St. Clair, Kenyon Coleman and Robert Royal are outta here. All but Rogers is a Mangini guy.

With their long-overdue departure, the Browns have automatically become younger. Significantly younger.

Barton is a 13-year veteran; St. Clair has been around for a dozen seasons; Rogers is an 11-year guy; Bowens has managed to stick around for 13 seasons; and Coleman and Royal have been collecting paychecks for 10 years.

All most will likely find employment elsewhere around the National Football League next season because they are serviceable. Just not in Cleveland.

The Browns were one of the oldest teams, if not the oldest, in the NFL last season, as they struggled to become competitive. This trimming of the fat, no pun intended, is just the first move. There’s plenty more to come. This is just the beginning.

Many familiar names who contributed so lamely to the 5-11 record will fall by the wayside in the not-too-distant future as the shape of the Browns changes dramatically.

Holmgren and Heckert undoubtedly have a plan to restore this franchise to its former glory and their vision does not include some of the underachievers that have populated Cleveland rosters the last several seasons.

On the bubble are such luminaries (sarcasm intended) as Jake Delhomme, Seneca Wallace, Abram Elam, Ray Ventrone, Matt Roth, Marcus Benard, Pork Chop Womack, Nick Sorensen, Kaluka Maiava, Alex Smith, Chansi Stuckey, Brian Schaefering, Robaire Smith and Jason Trusnick. Most of them are Mangini guys.

When Holmgren and Heckert are through, this will make Mangini’s plundering of the roster of Phil Savage and Romeo Crennel seem tame by comparison. It’s time to change the culture on this team and they know it.

So any resemblance between the 2010 roster and the one that opens the 2011 season – how’s that for being optimistic the league and NFLPA will get together on a new collective bargaining agreement? – will be strictly coincidental.

There are going to be a lot of new faces on the new Cleveland roster and, given Heckert’s reputation for solid drafting, brighter days are ahead for Browns fans. During his watch as general manager in Philadelphia, the Eagles became one of the most powerful teams in the NFL on an annual basis.

Watching the 2010 version of the Browns had to be painful for the H&H men, both of whom are not used to watching bad football. And both men know the quickest way to become relevant and competitive in the NFL is via the college draft.

All you have to do is look at the rosters of the two teams in the most recent Super Bowl to realize how true that is. It’s about time Cleveland joined the parade.

So carry on, men. Let the purge continue.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Spoiling the spoils

In the wake of the enormous success of Super Bowl XLV, it’s extraordinarily difficult to imagine why the millionaires and billionaires of professional football are on the verge of shutting down the sport.

After drawing the largest audience in the history of television Sunday, the popularity of pro football has exploded even more, if that’s possible, reaching a zenith heretofore only dreamed of.

Watched at one time by roughly half the population of the United States, the sport has evolved into what Pete Rozelle, the late commissioner of the National Football League, envisioned when he hauled the league into the 20th century with his prescient thinking.

The NFL has never been more popular despite a couple of player strikes that would have seriously damaged other leagues. It is almost always the No. 1 topic on talk shows all around the country.

The National Basketball Association and National Hockey League are midway through their seasons and yet, most fans want to talk about professional football around the watercooler.

So why in the world would the players and owners risk damaging that popularity with either a lockout (by the owners) or a strike by the players (if the owners bring in replacement players) should the two sides fail to get together on a new collective bargaining agreement by March 3?

That makes absolutely no sense. In a business that generates $11 billion in revenues, why is it so difficult for the two sides to get together and hammer out a deal? The definitive answer is greed.

The two sides do not trust each other. The players don’t want the owners to get a lion’s share of the profits. And the owners believe the players are paid well enough to begin with.

The players want nearly 60% of the profits, while the owners’ bottom line is somewhere in the 55% range. Each side has drawn a line in the sand and seems unwilling to budge.

Both sides are hurling the normal bargaining rhetoric, which is to be expected. This time, however, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is taking a pro-active stance. While not getting directly involved in the negotiations, he appears to be moving the process along at a brisker pace than it would be had he remained neutral.

No doubt he realizes that if there is another work stoppage, it will be difficult for the league to explain to the fans the reasons behind it. And even though a stoppage would take place well before the start of a new season, it sends the wrong kind of message.

Such a move risks alienating those fans, many of whom will have trouble understanding why, especially in this economy, it’s so hard for the two sides to equitably divvy up this massive amount of money.

The NFL right now is the golden calf of sports. It makes money hand over fist. Its popularity is at its pinnacle. It doesn’t get any better than this.

And in the afterglow of the Super Bowl, it is incumbent on the players and owners to strike a deal instead of dealing with a strike.

Monday, February 7, 2011

First mistake

Now that the dust has settled on the Browns’ coaching staff, time for an early assessment.

First off, and most important, new head coach Pat Shurmur is making a huge mistake in anointing himself offensive coordinator. By insisting on calling plays, that’s exactly what he’ll be, albeit unofficially.

It’s hard enough to be a head coach with no interference. Add coordinator to that title and you are asking for trouble.

As a rookie head coach, Shurmur will have enough problems handling an entire team’s fortunes. There are way too many responsibilities for a head coach that preclude any outside interference.

One of the most important roles any head coach must perform is the ability to coach his coaches. Let them know exactly what he expects from them. But when one of those coaches is himself as a coordinator, that’s a problem.

There is no way Shurmur can juggle both jobs and be effective. When he’s worrying about his side of the ball, who is going to be worrying about the other side of the ball? Or the special teams?

It is the head coach’s job to maintain responsibility for the entire package. And if his mind is distracted by a problem with the offense, that most likely will affect his focus in other areas and impact negatively on the entire team.

Shurmur says its fun to call plays, something he did the last two seasons in St. Louis with the Rams. But how much fun can it be when other parts of the team are being virtually ignored?

Concentrating on improving an awful Cleveland offense is primary and Shurmur obviously recognizes that. But he has to learn to delegate and rely on his assistants in order to have a shot at becoming successful.

When important decisions have to be made during a game, his mind cannot be thinking about the next series of plays for the offense. It must be clear to make snap judgments at critical times.

It would be entirely different if he were a veteran head coach who can juggle several balls in the air like Mike McCarthy does in Green Bay. McCarthy scripts everything offense with the Packers and has enough grasp of what’s going on that it does not impair his judgment.

Returning the Browns to respectability, at the very least, should be Shurmur’s primary goal initially. Nothing should interfere with it. Coordinating the offense does just that.

In choosing Dick Jauron as his defensive coordinator, the new coach most likely will be hands off since it’s the opposite side of the ball, one with which is he is far less familiar. The question is whether Jauron plugs in his style of defense or caters to the whims of his new boss.

It’ll be interesting to see whether Shurmur wants Jauron to dial up a more aggressive stance on defense or resort to the more mundane bend-not-break style of play. The return to the 4-3 scheme suggests it will be the latter.

The other pieces and parts of the coaching staff are just that. Nothing about which to get excited, although Mike Wilson replacing George McDonald as receivers coach is a clear upgrade.

If there is one area on offense that needs the most help, it’s the receiving corps. And with the installation of the West Coast offense, it is the receivers who play the most important role. Just look at what Green Bay’s receivers did in the Super Bowl victory over Pittsburgh Sunday.

Wilson, who owns a few Super Bowl rings, was a wideout for the San Francisco 49ers in the 1980s when Browns President Mike Holmgren was a coach on that staff. And that team featured the West Coast look.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Ho hum

Finally, some movement on the coaching front from the Browns. All it gets from this corner, however, is one big yawn. Same old, same old.

Late last week, the club announced that Dick Jauron is the new defensive coordinator. Today, Chris Tabor was named special teams coach, although teams now like to call their special teams coaches coordinators.

Summarizing, the Browns have taken a decided step sideways as Pat Shurmur prepares for his freshman season with the Browns.

In Jauron, Shurmur has succeeded in quieting the locker room. The decibel level drops to almost inaudible status as Rob Ryan takes his bombast deep into the heart of Texas. Jauron is the polar opposite of the man he replaces.

As colorful and non-diplomatic as Ryan was, the new DC is as low key as they come. After all, he’s a Yalie. He coaches from the neck up. It’s all between the ears. Ryan’s coaching style, on the other hand, is rooted in the larynx.

More on Jauron in a bit.

Tabor comes over to Cleveland spending the last three seasons as assistant special teams coach in Chicago under Dave Toub. Key word in that last sentence is assistant. Granted, the Bears are one of the National Football League’s best teams in that department, but Toub is the major reason, not Tabor, his assistant.

Why at this juncture are the Browns hiring someone with relatively little NFL experience to head a unit that also has been one of the best in the league under Brad Seely the last couple of seasons? It appears as though they have lowered the bar in replacing the veteran special teams guru.

Certainly, there had to be someone better than Tabor out there on the assistant coaching landscape. Hard to believe he was the best choice.

Now then, back to Jauron. Other than familiarity, it’s hard to understand what Mike Holmgren, Tom Heckert Jr. and Shurmur saw in this guy.

He runs a bend-not-break defense. He tends to favor the more vanilla approach to defense. As Tom Coughlin’s original defensive coordinator with the expansion Jacksonville Jaguars, he was part of a coaching staff that produced three winning seasons in four years.

Statistically, Jauron’s defenses consistently ranked in the middle of the pack in scoring defense, were weak against the run, racked up a decent number of sacks (130) and lagged in overall defense before he left to become head coach in Chicago..

In other words, nothing about which to get excited. There is little reason to believe he has changed his philosophy.

It’s beginning to appear as though the Browns are trying to ratchet down the aggression on defense (not a good sign because defense is all about aggression) and ratchet up the offense with a pass-first philosophy.

If they are, indeed, serious about slapping some makeup on a rather faceless offense under Eric Mangini and Brian Daboll, then it behooves Shurmur and the front office to go after someone who would not be in learning mode. Just because the new coach wants to call the plays doesn’t mean the new coordinator should be a neophyte.

There would be nothing wrong with going after a veteran coach, someone who knows how to choreograph a splashy offense. Someone like Brad Childress, who was Andy Reid’s top offensive guy in Philadelphia for three seasons before taking over as head man in Minnesota.

Now before you go off the deep end, hear me out.

Nothing wrong with Childress coming in as offensive coordinator and giving the rookie head coach Shurmur some sage advice along the way. Calling plays and being a head coach simultaneously is difficult enough on a veteran, let alone someone doing it for the first time.

Shurmur is going to need some help and someone like Childress would be a solid choice to fill that role. I’d like to think he is the kind of guy willing to subjugate himself for the good of the team.

However, if the Browns follow their pattern of selecting coordinators in the same manner as the past week, it does not bode well for Shurmur and lessens my confidence in what he’s trying to accomplish.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Rough start

It’s been about a week now since Pat Shurmur slipped on his head-coaching hat and already, fans are barking at his doorstep about his coordinators. Or lack of coordinators.

That’s right. It’s been a whole week and we still don’t know who will draw up plays on offense for the Browns and design the club’s defenses. And the fans are freaking.

All the good coordinator candidates are being swept up by other teams and the poor Browns are left with the scraps, they moan. They have already seen two offensive candidates land elsewhere. That means whoever Shurmur taps will be no better than third choice to replace the very replaceable Brian Daboll.

By declaring he’ll call plays this season, the new coach has basically tied the hands of the man he selects as his offensive chief. It looks as though whoever takes the job will be someone desperate to land any position and willing to subjugate his role. That does not bode well unless Shurmur opts for some college hot shot.

And it’s looking as though the same scenario is unfolding on the defensive side of the ball. Three former NFL coordinators are in the mix. The good news is no one has officially turned the club down. The bad news is all three are retreads.

Dick Jauron and Dave Wannstedt are polar opposites of the departed Rob Ryan. They appear to be sedated by comparison. Both were schooled in the 4-3. And Bill Davis, the only one who schemed an NFL defense last season (a 3-4), can’t be proud of what his Arizona Cardinals accomplished.

Jauron is expected to remain in Philadelphia and coordinate the Eagles’ defense following the surprising firing of Sean McDermott. Wannstedt, who hasn’t been in the NFL since leaving to coach at the University of Pittsburgh in 2005, remains a viable choice.

Davis, a Youngstown native whose father was a front-office executive with the Browns about 30 years ago, was summarily dismissed by the Cardinals a couple of weeks ago after serving two seasons as defensive boss.

The Cardinals plunged from the top of the NFC West last season to the basement this past season and Davis, whose defense gave up the third-most points in the league (434), was coach Ken Whisenhunt’s scapegoat. Never mind that the Cards looked lost on offense without retired quarterback Kurt Warner.

They also looked lost on defense with the loss of four key starters (linebackers Karlos Dansby and Chike Okeafor, and defensive backs Antrel Rolle and Bryant McFadden) from the 2009 season. Replacements Joey Porter, Paris Lenon, Greg Toler and Kerry Rhodes fell far short of expectations.

It also didn’t help that the Arizona offense scored just 18 points a game, with Warner practicing his terpsichore on Dancing With the Stars, and turned the ball over at an alarming rate. The defense, much like the Browns’’ defense, was gassed midway through the season. Someone had to pay.

So it appears as though Shurmur will have to settle working with coordinators just looking for any kind of job. Not a good sign for the freshman head coach.