Sublimely ridiculous

Have you heard the one about the 43-year-old former National Football League quarterback expressing an interest in coming back to the league?

Yep. Says he feels sorry for one of his former teams and reached out (his words) to that team and said he was ready to come back and play.

Well, he didn’t exactly say he felt sorry for that team (let’s call them the Cleveland Browns), but one got that impression since that team has all kinds of problems with the quarterback position currently.

That’s right. Jeff Garcia, who used to play for the Browns, offered his services even though he hasn’t played in the NFL since retiring about three years ago.

What? Jake Delhomme, Tim Couch and Charlie Frye weren’t available? Maybe they aren’t paying attention. The Browns need a quarterback and Garcia, feeling strangely benevolent, stepped forward.

The Browns, of course, politely (we assume) said no thank you (another assumption) as the circus atmosphere continues to hover over 76 Lou Groza Blvd.

Garcia, whose football talent left his body about 10 years ago, proposed his bizarre comeback attempt on a Cleveland sports talk show Tuesday.

“I actually reached out to the Browns and said, ‘Hey, if you need a guy to come in, work me out, take a look,’ “ he said. “I don’t know if people want me back in Cleveland, but I’m open to the opportunity.”

Well, Jeff, it’s like this. No, people don’t want you back in Cleveland. In fact, they still have a bitter taste in their mouths after that very forgettable year you put together in 2004.

Remember that season? Let’s refresh your memory.

Remember when Butch Davis brought you in as a savior of sorts and you proceeded to set quarterbacking back at least 10 years? Butch quit his job with five games to go that season.

Bet you forgot about your second game as the Browns’ quarterback. That was the 19-12 loss to the Dallas Cowboys when you completed eight of 27 passes for a robust 71 yards and three interceptions.

It was the game in which you managed to do what only a handful of NFL quarterbacks have accomplished in the history of quarterbacking. Your passer rating was an ignominious 0.0. Yep, zero point zero. I’d forget something like that, too.

Garcia, who lives in southern California, must have an awful lot of time on his hands to inject himself back into the consciousness of Cleveland football fans. Why else would he take the time to barge in right in the middle of another disastrous season?

We had no idea he had such a sense of humor.

Got to give him credit, though. He sure sparked a lot of interest. In a Cleveland,com poll, readers were asked if they would welcome Garcia back to Cleveland. The options were: Yes, he is better than Brandon Weeden, and No.

Of the first 7,240 votes, slightly more than 50% said, yes, he is better than Brandon Weeden. That’s how bad the situation has become with the Browns.

What’s next? Jim Brown coming out of retirement to solve the Browns’ running back problem? Yes, he is better than Willis McGahee, or No.