Bye-week leftovers

Welcome back everyone except you, Deshaun Watson. Understand your faculties and shoulder aren't quite where you want them for Sunday's home game against the San Francisco 49ers. 

They're only the best team in the National Football League right now and your teammates sure could use your talents to at least suit up and make it a game. Another dose of Dorian Thompson-Robinson and the Browns might as well phone in the forfeit.

Your head coach Monday said you'd be ready to go when you're "functionally ready." Not really sure what that means. A follow-up question elicited this: "I'm not going to get into specifics about Sunday. I know it's a broken record, but really just treat (the condition) day by day,"

Assuming the medical clearance you received for the Baltimore game a week ago but declined because you didn't have all your faculties is the reason you're not quite "functionally ready" now. Your head coach made that clear, too.

"The piece there that's important is medically cleared versus functionally able to do your job," he said. "That's what all of our guys, when you're working through an injury, you need to be able to functionally perform. That's what Deshaun is working very hard in his rehab to be able to get back to 100%."

So why clear them medically if they're not able to be functionally able to perform? Wait, never mind. 

I give up because I don't believe we'll ever find out because every explanation will be nothing more than a explosion of words that initially sound plausible, but really aren't. If the $230 million man isn't ready, functionally or otherwise, by Sunday, it's more serious than originally thought.

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The Niners have plundered through their first five games with exquisite ease, dominating on both sides of the football. They have scored at least 30 points in every game with the NFL's most dangerous offense on every level and played the stingiest football in the league, allowing a league-best 68 points. 

They can beat you in many different ways. Offensively, they average four touchdowns a game. No one has stopped Christian McCaffrey, arguably the best all-around running back in the NFL. He has rung up 678 yards running and receiving already with eight touchdowns. (The Browns have scored seven touchdowns.)

Through the air, the Cleveland secondary gets its biggest challenge yet this season with wide receivers Brandon Aiyuk and Deebo Samuel and tight end George Kittle, all considered extremely dangerous. Kittle is coming off a three-touchdown virtuoso performance last Sunday against the Dallas Cowboys.

The ringmaster of this three-ring circus is one of the great stories of 2022. Brock Purdy was the Mr. Irrelevant of the 2022 college draft, the 49ers grabbing the little-known Iowa State quarterback with the final overall pick. Only a few wondered why. They found out several months later.

Injuries to Trey Lance early last season and Jimmy Garoppolo with five games left forced head coach Kyle Shanahan to turn to Purdy and the kid went unbeaten through to the NFC championship game against Philadelphia, where he tore the ulnar collateral ligament in his throwing arm early in the game.

In baseball, that's Tommy John surgery territory. Purdy rehabbed all offseason and stepped right in as if nothing had changed and had the huddle in the season opener. He hauls a 10-game unbeaten streak in the regular season to the lakefront Sunday.

He is meticulous to a fault. He almost never makes mistakes it seems. His next interception this season will be his first. The 49ers just don't beat themselves. Only two turnovers in five games and a +7 turnover ratio. The Browns (-7) haven't played a game this season when they haven't turned the ball over. 

Defensively, this will be the best front the beleaguered Cleveland offensive line will face. Here's a scary thought: Left tackle Jedrick Wills Jr.'s main job will be keeping Nick Bosa away from whoever plays quarterback. Oy!

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Yep, the Niners are just the kind of team the Browns don't need coming out of the bye. They're struggling on offense with a scheme that sputters way too often. There is rare cohesive timing between the quarterback and everyone else. They haven't reached any semblance of being dangerous.

The head coach/playcaller needs to dumb down his offense. Get back to basics because not much else is working outside occasional pass connections between Watson and Amari Cooper. Scrap everything else because the diversity of this offense is shot. Keep it simple.

You know, lots of screens, counters, traps. whams, stretch plays. Basically high-percentage, low-risk stuff that is reasonably easy to execute. Forget the crazy stuff. That's proven too difficult to execute.

Here it is game five and the head coach still doesn't know how to work Elijah Moore into the offense. We heard so much during training camp about how exciting this offense was going to be. We're still waiting. Moore is a wide receiver. Period. Burn all the plays (sweeps) that head east and west. They're not working.

Also wondering if the head coach has figured out how to utilize speedy veteran Marquise Goodwin other than go routes? Every time he dials one up, the ball is underthrown. Goodwin has to slow down, enabling a defender to catch up. If that's all he's good for, let him go.

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As for the Cleveland defense, a quick look back at how badly they played in the Ravens loss revealed badly only in relation to how spectacularly they played in the first three games.

Until the 8:49 mark of the second quarter, all they gave up was a gimme touchdown after the Ravens picked off the first of three DTR passes and brought it back to the Cleveland 10, Lamar Jackson rambling the 10 yards on the first play.

The defense looked more like last season's porous crew on consecutive possessions of 93 yards (eight plays) and 74 yards (10 plays), sandwiched around a Browns three-and-out, and all of a sudden a 7-3 game became a 21-3 game. Nine very bad minutes was the difference. The Baltimore offense generated only 291 yards in the game, 167 of those on those possessions.

The tough Cleveland defense returned in the second half, allowing one more score (after another DTR pick), a possession that started at the Cleveland 38 and took nearly four minutes. Put them together and it's 13 minutes of bad defensive football that leads me to think it might be a bit premature to believe that defense is history.

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Who is the WR2 on this roster? Moore? Hardly. David Bell? An afterthought. Goodwin? See above. Cedric Tillman? Is he still on the roster? The rookie finally saw his first action in the Baltimore loss. One catch for five yards late in the game.

How about Donovan Peoples-Jones? Why of course. So why is he being misused by the head coach-playcaller? He needs to be targeted at least six times a game, not four. He is on pace for only 60 targets this season. If they want him back next season, they better start throwing more to him.

DPJ has proven a playmaker in the past. Makes the tough catches. Reliable target. Only two drops on 96 targets last season. Throw him the damn football. 

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Finally . . . Eye surgery will prevent me from writing for at least a week. Nothing serious, more cosmetically necessary than anything. . . . So here's how I see Sunday's game ending. Originally I was going to pick the Browns (for the first time this season) in an upset just to be different. But a reality slap jolted me back. I do, however, see the Cleveland defense of the first three games showing up again and holding the 49ers under 30 points. I do not, however, see the Cleveland offense, no matter who opens at quarterback, hurting the San Francisco defense. Dustin Hopkins will have a busy afternoon. Make it:

49ers 27, Browns 12