Not horseshoes or hand grenades

All right. Enough. Enough already, Rob Chudzinski.

Who do you think you’re trying to fool with this idiotic talk about not knowing who your starting quarterback will be in the regular-season opener?

You know damn well who will be under center – or at least in the shotgun – when your Browns play the Miami Dolphins on the second Sunday of next month. It’s going to be Brandon Weeden.

If it isn’t, you’re asking for more trouble than you dreamed of in your rookie season as a head coach. There is only one quarterback who can run Norv Turner’s offense and run it well on this team. Yep, Brandon Weeden. And you know it.

So what’s this nonsense we’re reading about the quarterback competition in training camp being a “close” battle”?

“I think it’s still close,” you told the media the other day when asked for your assessment of that competition. “We are finding out every game. These games are important opportunities for guys to show what they can do.”

Are you kidding me? Somehow, I find it hard to believe you actually feel that way. What does Weeden have to do to warrant your seal of approval? Complete every pass? Never get sacked? Part his hair on the correct side?

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re playing head games with your quarterbacks through the media. And what purpose, if that’s what you’re trying to do, would that serve?

In the process, you’re taking the psyche of a quarterback (Weeden) coming off a rookie season working with an offense that was the polar opposite of what he ran in college and messing with it.

What purpose does it serve to crawl into the head of that quarterback when what he needs much more is some solid backing from his head coach and offensive coordinator? He goes out and has a pretty good game in his exhibition debut and yet, the competition is “still close.”

While you’re handling it all wrong, at least Weeden is handling it correctly. “I’m confident that I’m going to be (the starting quarterback), but I’ve got to prove it to the other guys, the guys upstairs that I’m the guy,” he said. "It’s just one more obstacle I’ve got to overcome, but I’ve just got to worry about what I can control.”

There is no question Jason Campbell is the more experienced of the two candidates for the starting job. He has started 71 National Football League games (30-41 record) and is more familiar with Turner’s offense.

But Campbell has carried on an affair with mediocrity his entire NFL career. What makes Chudzinski, Turner or any of the other members of the offensive coaching staff believe he’ll be anything other than that with the Browns?

Right now, the Browns are striving to shed their loser label. They don’t need retreads to help them achieve that goal. And that’s exactly what Campbell is: a retread. He best serves his new team by holding a clipboard.

Brian Hoyer? Third stringer all the way. He shouldn’t even be in the same conversation.

Leave it to Weeden to come up with the perfect solution to what appears to be a manufactured problem. “If I continue to improve and do all the things (he needs to), then everything will take care of itself,” he told he media. “I’ve just got to worry about me and the rest will kind of follow suit.”

Chudzinski still believes in his plan “to find the right guy. At whatever point is the right time to do that, we will name a starter.”

If you think it’s not going to be Weeden, raise your hand. Not you, Campbell. Or you, Hoyer. Get ready to watch No. 3 no matter what his coach says now.